I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
