Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
