My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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