Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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