Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no you cant smoke seaweed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
