May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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