so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
