Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize