Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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