i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
