Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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