when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
