So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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