I wanna bring you to show and tell
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
