forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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