Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
