Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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