You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
