i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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