Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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