stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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