How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
