I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
