Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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