in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
