You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize