Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
