How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
