this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
