he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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