We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I sprained my soul last night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize