Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
