Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
