Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
