So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
