Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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