YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
