I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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