Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
