So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
