I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
