you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
