Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
