The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
