if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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