Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
