never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
