hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
