ugly people sure do ruin things
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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