you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
