We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
