he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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