he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
