i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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