If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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