i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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