That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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