wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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