I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
