are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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