i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
